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A Parent's Guide to Supporting Children That Don’t Fit In

There are times in life when our children seem to be the odd ones out, whether they are facing learning difficulties or awkward social interactions with peers. These situations can alienate our children, making them feel alone and anxious. As parents, we feel ill-prepared to support them in their uniqueness. In a world that often emphasizes conformity, how can parents foster a supportive environment for kids who don't fit in?  Let’s discuss how to walk with our children as they face the difficulties of being different.

tween girl sitting outdoors by a tree with a bucket on her head

Take Care of Yourself First

First and foremost, know that you are not alone. Your child is not the first that has dealt with being the odd one out, nor will they be the last. While circumstances vary, most children will feel alienated from their peers from time to time. As a parent, try to connect with other parents in your school, neighbourhood, or online communities. This helps create a supportive environment for you; one that reminds you that you are not alone.

Not Fitting In Creates Anxiety

Being different from their peers can create anxiety in children. Children manifest anxiety indirectly. A tummy ache may be a sign of anxiety, an unmotivated teenager that sleeps late every day may be trying to avoid daily circumstances. These are some examples of indirect manifestation of anxiety. Educate yourself about how these feelings manifest in young people so you can identify what is really going on with your kid. Be attuned to their unique experience so you can walk through it with them. Learn more signs of anxiety in children:

Communicate About Feeling Left Out

Always encourage open and honest communication with your child. Be that safe space where they can share their thoughts and feelings. Instead of jumping to advice mode, practice active listening by repeating what they are saying back to them so they know you are truly listening. Don’t dance around the subject; ask the tough questions so they know you care and are aware of their struggles.

Celebrate Individuality

Emphasize the importance of the individuality and uniqueness of your child. Help them recognize and embrace their own strengths, talents, and interests, even if it is not necessarily something you would choose. Reinforce the idea that it's okay to be different and that diversity in personalities is what makes the world a vibrant and interesting place.


Social Skills 

While it's essential to celebrate individuality, helping your child develop strong social skills can also be beneficial. Provide opportunities for social interactions through playdates, extracurricular activities, or group settings where they can gradually build confidence in navigating social situations.

Promote Inclusivity

Teach your child to be kind to others. When kids have a personal experience with feeling excluded, they have a unique opportunity to use that point of view to develop empathy. By promoting inclusivity, you're fostering an environment where differences are not only accepted but celebrated.

Collaborate with Your School

Children behave very differently when they are not at home. For this reason, maintain an open communication with teachers and school staff.  Share your concerns and work together to create a supportive environment. Some schools offer counselling services or peer support groups that can be beneficial for children struggling to fit in.

Find Professional Help

If you notice that their anxiety is significantly impacting their daily life, consider getting professional help. A mental health professional can provide guidance and support tailored to your child's specific needs. 

Parenting a child that struggles to fit in, requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to nurturing their individuality. Lean on your community to help you get through these tough times. Remember that each child is a unique individual, and it's the diversity of experiences that contributes to their growth and development.


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